What did the comedian say when he took off his clothes?
Haven't you ever seen a comic strip.
A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bus trip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?
A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him underwater for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
You have me today, Tomorrow you'll have more; As your time passes, I'm not easy to store; I don't take up space, But I'm only in one place; I am what you saw, But not what you see. What am I?
If eleven plus two equals one, what does nine plus five equal?
What's at least 6 inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun if it vibrates?
If two snakes marry, what will their towels say?
One day, the police found a man dead inside a hut. In his left hand, he's holding a gun. In his right hand, he has a recording. When the recording is played, the police hear the man talking about how horrible life is and how he wants it to end. The recording ends with a gunshot. The police are about to call it a suicide until you point out a very important clue. What is it?
What goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow continuously?
You can touch me, You can break me, You should win me if you want to be mine. What am I?
A man was found dead next to a 13 story building. The police say it was a suicide, but you say it was a homicide (someone killed him). To prove this, you go to each floor on the building, open the window, and toss a penny out. You do this to each floor until you reach the 13th floor, open the window, and toss a penny out. How does this prove it wasn't a suicide?
I can't be bought, but I can be stolen with a glance. I'm worthless to one, but priceless to two. What am I?
There was a man who wanted to prove his love to his wife. So, he climbed the highest mountain, swam the deepest ocean and walked the biggest desert. What do you think his wife said?
No matter how little or how much you use me, you change me every month. What am I?
What is harder to catch the faster you run?
There is a brother and a sister. The boy wants to visit his father in jail, and the sister wants to visit her mother in the hospital. But they both are not allowed in the jail or hospital. All they have is a gun. What do they do?
Which three letters can frighten a thief away?
What kind of running means walking?
I may be simple, I may be complex; I may have a name, but no gender or sex; I am often a question, or statement as a setup; I tend to have an answer, 'til you find it I won't let up. What am I?
A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife immediately called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and got their alibi. The Wife said she was sleeping. The Cook was cooking breakfast. The Gardener was picking vegetables. The Maid was getting the mail. The Butler was cleaning the closet. The police instantly arrested the murderer. Who did it and how did they know?
What starts with a T, ends with a T and has T in it?