What do you get when you toss a copper penny and a quarter into the blue sea?
Less money.
Why is Europe like a frying pan?
Samuel was out for a walk when it started to rain. He did not have an umbrella and he wasn't wearing a hat. His clothes were soaked, yet not a single hair on his head got wet. How could this happen?
How do you spell COW in thirteen letters?
There are two monkeys on a tree and one jumps off. Why does the other monkey jump too?
A pet shop owner had a parrot with a sign on its cage that said "Parrot repeats everything it hears". Davey bought the parrot and for two weeks he spoke to it and it didn't say a word. He returned the parrot but the shopkeeper said he never lied about the parrot. How can this be?
Why did Tigger go to the bathroom?
There are 30 cows in a field, and 28 chickens. How many didn't?
Why did Snap, Crackle and Pop get scared?
If two snakes marry, what will their towels say?
Johnny's dad had told Johnny that if he could get an A+ on his final exam, he could get any ice cream flavor he wanted plus a pizza. When the day for the final exam came, the professor said, "There are three questions on this exam. You will have one hour to answer them all and no more. Anyone caught taking any longer or cheating will get an automatic F." When Johnny received the paper, he read the first question. As he read it, he realized the exam was no piece of cake so he worked as hard as he could. When he finally finished question one, he checked the clock. There was only 5 minutes left! At this rate, he wouldn't be able to finish in time. As Johnny looked around, he saw that there were hundreds of students and figured that he could get away with a few extra minutes, so he worked away past the hour mark. As Johnny went to turn in his paper, the professor stopped him. "Young man," the professor said sternly. "I saw you keep working long after the 1-hour mark. You were caught cheating and will get an F." Thinking quickly, Johnny replied, "Do you know who I am?" The professor stoically responded, "I neither know or care who you are. You need to learn respect and discipline." "Good." said Johnny and he ran away. When the day for the exam scores to be announced came, Johnny received an A+. How?
Sometimes I am born in silence, Other times, no. I am unseen, But I make my presence known. In time, I fade without a trace. I harm no one, but I am unpopular with all. What am I?
A logician with some time to kill in a small town decided to get a haircut. The town had only two barbers, each with his own shop. The logician glanced into one shop and saw that it was extremely untidy. The barber needed a shave, his clothes were unkempt, and his hair was badly cut. The other shop was extremely neat. The barber was freshly shaved and spotlessly dressed, his hair neatly trimmed. Why did the logician return to the first shop for his haircut?
What type of music do rabbits listen to?
There was a man who wanted to prove his love to his wife. So, he climbed the highest mountain, swam the deepest ocean and walked the biggest desert. What do you think his wife said?
Why can't a pirate ever finish the alphabet?
What has wheels and flies, but it is not an aircraft?
What kind of running means walking?
What kind of candy would a prisoner want before he is executed?
How did the pancake hurt itself?
If fish lived on land, where would they live?